3 Best Successes

Overall I feel really good about my paper and the arguments I decided to use, although I will admit some are more solid than others. I think the 3 biggest successes of my paper are:

1) Listening to music makes us happier by releasing dopamine into the brain. I feel like mostly everyone can really relate to this argument because I can't go a day without music, and when I'm in a bad mood it truly does make me feel better.

2) Listening to or engaging in making music keeps our minds young throughout the inevitable aging process because it is a total workout for the brain, which makes sense because with all the different instruments and beats, there's a lot for our minds to decode and make sense of. I think this is a solid point because everyone goes through the aging process and most people love music, two common denominators.

3) My third success in my opinion is the fact that music helps patients before and after surgery because it decreases anxiety beforehand and increases relaxation afterwards. Surgery is very scary and can be very serious, and it seems to be more of a go to procedure nowadays. I think it's really cool that something as simple as music can make that process a little easier.

-Samantha Gardner
English 122


https://www.google.com/search?q=music+for+the+soul&biw=2277&bih=1085&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj5vve037bMAhWskIMKHajJAzMQ_AUIBigB&dpr=0.6#imgrc=XRe2HfTaBAca1M%3A

Chapter 23 Reaction and Review


Personal Reaction: 
This chapter is all about revising and editing your paper and it is incredibly applicable to me as of right now, especially since I have to work out what my next steps will be for my paper and what needs editing. The chapter has loads of information to help people but I think the most important are the graphics pages 459, 460, 462, and 473. They all detail just what kind of work and thought have to go into editing, for example. One graphic asks whether or not you have read your paper aloud or to another person. This is more important than many might realize as many mistakes can be found this way. Overall this is a good read and is important to anyone who is going to or is currently editing their papers.

Professional Review: 
Chapter 23 offers a variety of tools in which shall aid people in tackling their papers. From "editing and proofreading" to "revising for emphasis, conciseness, and clarity" this chapter offers countless tools that shall be invaluable to anyone who is struggling with their papers. What might be the most important is the bit on chapter 460 thru 461 on thesis revision. This is a common error among students and is so easily addressed that it is unfortunate that most miss it. Many a time has a student written a paper where the thesis goes one way and then the paper proves the opposite. Had the student either
A. Stuck with his thesis
or
B. Gone back and changed it
Than the student would be in far less dire straights. Either way the chapter has something for everyone and is worth reading extensively if one gets the time. If not than it's no matter as it is also important to skim or even pick out parts that interest you, this chapter is a wealth of knowledge just waiting to be tapped.

(Patrick McGill)

Celebrity Obsession Essay Evaluation

When you get to read celebrity entertainment magazines for research. #collegelife #research #essay #celebrities #magazines

A photo posted by Hayley (@colorenthusiast) on Apr 22, 2016 at 3:33pm PDT

Image by me (@colorenthusiast on Instagram)

My professor assigned this blog post to my classmates and me. She asked us to write about 3 things we like about our papers and 3 things we think our professor would like about our papers.

3 Things I like about my paper:

1. I like how I wrote about the negative impact of celebrity obsession on celebrities, media contributors, and the general public. By addressing the negative impact on each of these people groups, I am exploring all the ways celebrity obsession negatively affects our society as a whole.
2. I like how I address how our celebrity-obsessed culture affects these people groups in physical as well as psychological ways.
3. There is still some more research and integration to be done, but so far I think I have been successful in gathering source information to properly support the points I have made.  

3 Things I think my professor will like about my paper:

1. I am currently working on making each of my points stay focused on my thesis. Once my paper is done, I think my professor will like that I keep my paper on track and link each point directly to my thesis.
2. I'm still researching and integrating source information, but once I include all the information I intend to, I think my professor will like to see all the information I have gathered to support my paper.
3. To be very specific, I think she will like how I address the negative effects celebrity obsession has on the paparazzi and other media contributors. This concept has not been addressed too often by others, so I think she will like that I am exploring this idea in my essay.

Written by Hayley Leach

Three things that I think people will enjoy and make my paper great!

1. My sources are all from reliable people who are well known in their field

2. My paper is filled with passion as I am able to write about what I find interesting

3. I think my paper will be informative and helpful to those who read it as it will put religion in to context.

(Patrick McGill)

Chapter 12 Amnesty Blog Post

Supporting a Position with Sources

Personal Reaction

While I was reading this I couldn't help but roll my eyes, 'here we go again.' I thought to myself as I began reading this chapter, I thought I knew it all when it came to quotes, paraphrasing, etc. In the end I cannot explain just how wrong I was. I enjoyed pages 236 and 237 immensely as they provided a visual representation of what I should do in my papers. Visuals always help me internalize information so the fact that they had this really helped me take steps forward to improve my writing. Page 233 was also good because it gave an example of a working thesis, which is detailed that it can change over time. I think that works especially well with my way of writing as I tend to deviate from my thesis while I write my paper.

Professional Reaction

Chapter 12 is important for writers of all skill levels, it gets back to the basis and essentially the backbone of any paper. Quotes are the most important part as they provide evidence which you may then pull from. Your thesis is also incredibly important and they detail just how to make it work in this chapter. However what had the most impact in my opinion was page 239 on paraphrasing, it detailed just what different kinds you can run into and how to use them effectively in your paper. This was probably the most important piece about the chapter.

(Patrick McGill)

Chapter 23 Reading Response

Personal Reaction: This chapter on revising and editing didn't come as a complete surprise to me because I do believe that it's one of the most significant steps in the writing process, I appreciate other people's view points especially, and the assistance in improving my writing. I enjoyed the word revision being referred to as "Seeing again", simply because I've never heard that reference and it couldn't be worded better in my opinion. On page 460 it talks about considering your audience while revising and that can be somewhat difficult because you want to convince everyone that your argument is right, but not everyone perceives things the same. It's crucial t to be confident with your writing regardless. On page 462 the book talks about working with peer editors which is helpful to not only college students, but their entire school career starting in elementary school from what I can recall. I like how on page 464 it talks about decoding comments because I've never considered didn't options like long comments compared to specific, that being said I'm usually short and to the point when editing.

Professional Reaction: I would recommend this chapter to anyone writing a paper because as I said before, I think editing and revising is a very significant step, not to mention it doesn't hurt to read and learn new information. I think especially once you've read over your own paper multiple times, obvious changes that need to be made become less apparent, so it's really important to have other's edit your papers as well.

Samantha Gardner
English 122


https://www.google.com/search?q=editing&biw=2277&bih=1085&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwifjL372LXMAhUMz2MKHa6HACkQ_AUIBigB&dpr=0.6#imgrc=wC41AN9vnR-2XM%3A

Chapter 23: Strategies for Revising and Editing

Image: proofread.club

Personally, I think revising is one of the most time consuming parts of writing a paper. However, once the revision part is done, I get to edit and proofread, which are some of my favorite things to do when writing a paper. It feels so good to look over my writing and make sure everything looks good and sounds good together, as well as fixing any grammar and spelling mistakes along the way. I would like to be a proofreader for others someday, so it was interesting to read about proofreading.

Professionally, I had never really read much about the definitions of "revising," "editing," and "proofreading." It was interesting to learn how others define these terms. Below are the definitions of the terms from pages 459 and 473:

• Revising: seeing, discovering, conceiving, or shaping again. This happens throughout the process of writing. Macro revising is the term used to describe the kind of revision in which the writer makes large changes that change the entire effect, purpose, direction, or organization of the paper.
• Editing: correcting or fixing grammar, punctuation, and other mechanics
• Proofreading: checking correctness, accuracy, spelling, and other mistakes

While these definitions do give a basic overview of what these terms mean, I would argue that editing is the checking of all technical mistakes, including spelling. I would also argue that proofreading is checking the content or deeper meaning of your writing; making sure it properly conveys the intended message, makes sense to your audience, and has the right tone, feel, and personality. 

Lastly, I had never thought about why it is necessary to revise. The authors explain different reasons why someone would need to revise and how it could be accomplished. 

One can revise for:

• Purpose and Thesis
• Audience
• Structure and Support
• Emphasis, Conciseness, and Clarity

Written by Hayley Leach