Chapter 21 Reading Response

Personal Reaction: Considering that this chapter is based on the typical layout of a paper, there wasn't a whole lot that surprised me. On pages 420 and 421 the book discusses different ways in which you can ease the writing process, which I haven't heard of all the examples like timing yourself while writing, or beginning very slow by writing a sentence every 15 minutes or so. As far as what to do when you go back to working on a paper, I found it interesting that the book suggests doing things like leaving yourself hints on how to continue, or pausing in the middle of a sentence so when you come back to it you know exactly how to proceed, and switching instruments like writing instead of typing. This chapter also talks about how sometimes it can be easier to start writing supporting paragraphs before you even think about your thesis or topic sentence, personally for me although sometimes I struggle with my thesis, I like to write from beginning to end in order because once I have my thesis done, it really helps me to see how I'd like the rest of my paper to fall into place. Another thing I found interesting is how on page 424 it talks about ending your paper with a topic sentence, which I guess I thought was pretty common as far as restating your point. I really like how Professor Zuko suggested we acknowledge apposing viewpoints towards the end of an argument paper, I feel like that strategy really strengthens the paper, and it would be cool to see that touched on in this chapter.

Professional Reaction: Overall I think this chapter is really useful for anyone who is writing a paper, especially for people who struggle with writing at all. I find it helpful that this chapter covers different ways in which you can work through writers block, what the overall layout of your paper should look like, and even different ways to go about writing different paragraphs. It's very useful that the book walks you through each part of the writing process like the topic sentence, your opening paragraph, all the paragraphs in-between, and how to go about writing your conclusion with different strategies or approaches for each. I think it's safe to say that most of us have been writing and learning about the layout of papers as early as elementary school, and even I found some things that were new to me in this chapter, so I would highly recommend it be read by anyone who has papers to write.

-Samantha Jo Gardner
 English 122


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Chapter 21: Strategies for Drafting

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Chapter 21 Reading Response:

This meme on the left of a funny scene from The Emperor's New Groove perfectly sums up the process of writing and rewriting an essay.

Essay drafting can be frustrating and repetitive, but it does not have to be. With the right tips and tricks, drafting can be fun and interesting.

I would never have thought that a textbook could give ideas of how to make writing fun, but this chapter surprised me with loads of helpful (and fun) tips to make the process of drafting less of a chore and more of a discovery.

I am personally super excited to try some of the tips in this chapter. One tip that interested me is the technique of recording yourself talking about your topic, and then transcribing it to create your first draft. This idea seems like it might help me word each sentence in a more conversational way and be less likely to get stuck staring at a blank document on my computer. I think this technique could also be used to summarize or paraphrase source information.

Another notable tip is to write down the next idea, thought, or topic sentence of the next paragraph before you stop to take a break. That way, when you return to your paper, you will be able to remember and continue your train of thought. This is a great trick for those who get writer's block, which is pretty much everyone at some point.

As a student and blogger, it will be helpful to note some things from this chapter. One idea that I think will be good to remember is the concept that it is acceptable to place a topic sentence at the beginning or end of a paragraph or to simply imply the topic of a paragraph without stating it plainly. I always thought I had to place the topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph, but now I know it is just as correct to place it at the end or to imply it.

Overall, this chapter gives quite a few techniques and strategies for organizing one's thoughts, which is something I find myself needing help with as a writer. So far, The Bedford Guide for College Writers has been a great textbook for English. Now, thanks to chapter 21, I won't be quite as much like Kronk.

Written by Hayley Leach

Rough draft Continues....

What I have and hope to have...

My topic is about Vulnerability. I'm taking my stand to say that Vulnerability is very empowering and liberating.  I will explain what it takes to letting that guard down and allowing yourself to to vulnerable in a relationship. How we will dissect my "Taking a Stand" essay is by Ethos, Pathos, Logos, Substantiation, Evaluation, and Policy.

Ethos- has the consistency of the topic. It is letting the audience know what you are going to communicate. My whole story is to provide information about being vulnerable and why you should be.

Pathos- Explains my emotion. I plan on describing my road of being vulnerable and how that allowed me to meet my husband. The hardships of letting that guard down and allowing myself to be loved.

Logos- I want to include Brene Borwn TedTalks theory of vulnerability, and the ingredients that is included in what vulnerability is and how vulnerability can empower you to want to feel belonged and loved.

Substantiation- I plan to provide Brene Browns facts of shame, fear, connection, compassion, and courage. The definition of those words and how they associate with Vulnerability. I will provides a story aside from my own, that will prove that being vulnerable is a great thing and that it can help your relationships as well as how you look at life.

Evaluation- I will state what is right and what is wrong, why you may feel and what you should feel about vulnerability.

Policy- I will tell you what should be done. What the conclusion is of letting the guard down and what you can learn from being vulnerable. This will allow you to be on either side of the fence, but definitely not on the fence.

Strategies for Stating a Thesis and Planning

Chapter 20

Professional Reaction
Creating a thesis: Your thesis may not come first and most of the time your thesis can be formed after your information is collected. You want to make sure that you have a general idea of what the thesis may be about and later structure your thesis with how it make sense to your story line. Your thesis may have a basic tone and have a general statement, although in the end you should have a thesis that takes a stands on your topic and have a debatable issue. When drafting it makes sense to jot down the ideas and opinion you may have to expand on. This will allow you to start making clusters and outlines to organize your thoughts. Journals entry's are great to reference back to  to allow yourself to pinpoint your specific topic and may even provide a general idea of what you would want your thesis statement to be. The main question that you want to ask yourself is "will my audience accept and or appreciate a clearly stated thesis?"

Personal
What I have learned is while creating your thesis you want to base your thesis off of your idea+ your point about the topic= a working thesis= a essay plan= draft. Everyone makes the mistake of basing your thesis and paper off of what makes sense to you and not your audience. A thesis will set the whole tone for your paper and you want to make sure that it is clear, argumentative, and have a central point. If your thesis doesn't have those key things, you may want to consider allowing yourself to research and have a journal you can reference back to, allowing yourself to think more broadly on the "freaking point".

Chapter 20: Strategies for Stating a Thesis and Planning

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Chapter 20 Reading Response:

Personal Reaction:
I have a tendency to start with a vague, broad thesis, so this chapter will help me to make my theses more narrowed, specific, and clear, which will make my essays much more organized and sophisticated.

Professional Reaction:
Some of the most important points are to think about what the purpose of your paper is by asking yourself what you want to accomplish with your paper and how you want your readers to react to it, and to determine who your audience is by asking yourself what type of person might care about your topic and what opinions they might be likely to have. I think this chapter will be helpful to look back on whenever I need to develop a thesis.

Written by Hayley Leach

Workshop Feedback

I truly enjoyed and appreciate the feedback that my partner gave after reading my rough draft. I was a little skeptical of a few of the arguments/points I was trying to make, but she said that they're all great and make complete sense, which was very relieving for me. She really liked my introduction, and she did a really great job of pointing out where I used the different appeals like Ethos, Pathos, and Logos. My partner also really liked how I can directly relate to the argument I'm making and how I made sure to put that personal experience in there. In class Jenn told us about how she likes to acknowledge opposing viewpoints at the very end of her argument papers, which I thought was a fantastic idea. I decided to do that with my paper as well and I'm glad I did because my partner thought it was a great touch and really helped sum the paper up. My partner didn't have a lot of feedback as far as things that could be done differently, which was good for me to hear. However she did point out of a few areas in certain paragraphs where I can use more Pathos, Logos, or Ethos in order to draw the reader in that much more and really make a valid point. I appreciate this feedback and I completely agree with her, so I will be taking that advice. Regardless it always happens that once I read one of my papers thoroughly multiple times, I'll start to see things that I'd like to do or say differently. Just because one person who has read your paper doesn't have a lot of feedback as far as editing, doesn't at all mean that it isn't there.

-Samantha Gardner
English 122


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Essay Rough Draft Evaluation

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In class, I was assigned to evaluate the rough draft of my essay about gender equality and write about how I could improve my paper.

• Ethos - The classmate who evaluated my paper told me my credibility was good. I think I could use more expert opinions to support my points and make them more credible.
• Pathos - I appeal to emotion in my paper some, but I think I could go into more detail about the emotional effects of gender inequality and how the equal treatment of genders would minimize those negative effects.
• Logos - I tried to appeal to reason, but I think I may need to change my thesis and make sure to properly arrange my points in a more logical way to support said thesis.

• Substantiation - I included some opinions which support my thesis, but need to add in a substantial amount of facts, stats, and other sound evidence to support my claims.
• Evaluation - I tried to evaluate why I hold my position on the topic, but I could definitely include much more detailed evaluation of each point.
• Policy - Because this is such a controversial and complex topic, it was a bit hard to find information and other opinions which are compatible with my policies and beliefs. I will need to do more research to find more sources that support my stance on the subject.

Written by Hayley Leach

Chapter 20 Reading Response

Personal Reaction:  In this chapter there wasn't anything that entirely surprised me, however there were a few different things that I had never learned before. On pages 399-400 it talks about Implicit and Explicit thesis statements, an Explicit thesis is basically straight to the point, and an Implicit thesis is more or less an indirect suggestion, which I didn't know before. I enjoyed reading about how to state your thesis on pages 403-405 because it demonstrates how you can continue writing after your thesis, and whether or not it may be easy or a little more challenging. On page 407 it talks about using your thesis to organize, which is personally one of my favorite things about the thesis because it helps me decide how I want to organize the following paragraphs and what points I want to put where. On pages 409-410 the books lists a few ways you can group your ideas together, for example solitaire, slide show, clustering, etc. This section somewhat surprised me simply because I had never heard of some of these methods, so more than anything I found the suggestions interesting. On page 411 it discusses how to do an outline, this topic is irritating to me because it makes me feel like I'm back in middle school. And in no way am I saying that doing an outline of your paper is ineffective or doesn't work, but not everyone thinks and organizes the same way, especially when it comes to writing any paper.

Professional Reaction: I believe this chapter overall is very useful because the Thesis in a paper in my opinion is one of the most important parts, it tells your reader exactly what the point is what they should expect to be reading next. On pages 400-402 the topic is Working Thesis, which is extremely important to know and remember. Although your thesis may sound great the first time your write it, chances are it wont be the same by the time you've revised. Point being is that you can always change it, and if you don't like the revised version you can change it again, as long as the readers known exactly what it is you're talking about. On page 402 considering that I had never been given these examples on how to state your thesis, I found it to be interesting and very good to know, so I figure other people may agree. on pages 405-406 the book talks about how to improve a thesis, and it gives you a take action chart to go through step by step on what direction you should go with your thesis, which I found to be informative and helpful. In the personal reaction I talked about how the outlining process is frustrating for me personally, but as I said not everyone thinks the same and some people find that doing outlines is very helpful to develop their paper, so in general I think it's good to know, and that's talked about on page 411.

-Samantha Gardner
English 122



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What issue or controversy concerns you? What current debate engages you?

What issue or controversy concerns you? What current debate engages you?

11.)    The ongoing conflict in Syria and countries policy with letting refugees in. Whether or not to let them into the country depending on the circumstances in said country etc. etc.

22.)    Should the United States put more emphasis on gun control and use?

What position do you want to take? How can you state your stand? What evidence might you need to support it?

11.)    I would like to take the point against allowing refugees, or at least showing the danger that they can represent to a country. I can make the stand by showing statistics of gang rape in Germany, or how Canada only allows Syrian families in their borders to try and combat this rape gang.

22.)    I would take a position against gun control. I can state my mine by comparing the current situation in America to those states with higher control of firearms. I would need shooting statistics, as well as populations of countries along with estimated guns owned by civilians.

How might you refine your working thesis? How could you make statements more accurate, definitions clearer, or categories more exact?

11.)    I would have to state my issues with refugees right off the bat along with outlining some issues they present culturally as well as economically. The statement would be made clear by using clear language and some hooks like substantial statistics.

22.)    Gun control is a hard topic to tackle, with shootings happening quite often it is a hard topic to pin. My statements have to be dead accurate with enough counter evidence as well as supporting so that I make my point perfectly clear.

What assumptions are you making? What clarification of or support for these assumptions might your audience need?

11.)    I am assuming that people are at least somewhat informed or opinionated about allowing refugees into the United States. Or other countries for that matter, however clarification will have to be given out throughout the entire assignment. Whether it be crime statistics, or economic statistics, everything has to be addressed and combatted in its own section.

22.)    I am assuming that my audience knows something of gun violence, such as school shootings and what not. I will have to inform them on gang violence and the amount of illegal firearms that they may or may not have at their disposal.

How might you qualify your thesis? What exceptions should you note? What other views might you want to recognize?

11.)    In support of my topic I will bring up crime rates and economic distress as it relates to refugees coming into the country. I will however have to note the crime rate and other things before the influx of refugees in order to come to an informed opinion. I might want to recognize the human element that takes place with these things. That people are simply trying to find a better life for themselves in a new country.

22.)    I will have to include oodles of comparisons to heavily gun controlled nations and just how we compare to them. It is important to do this as to gain support for my topic that more legislation isn’t going to force violence to go down but rather in some cases force it to go up.

(Patrick McGill)

Gender Equality Essay Q&A

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Below are a series of questions from chapter nine of The Bedford Guide for College Writers that I will answer, in order to develop a possible topic and thesis for my next essay assignment.

• What issue or controversy concerns you? What current debate engages you? - I've been very interested in the debate for gender equality versus the argument that either men or women are less or more qualified than the other.

• What position do you take? How can you state your stand? - My position is for gender equality (or against mistreatment and discrimination based on gender.) I could state my stand using this thesis statement: Genders should be treated and respected equally and fairly, despite their genetic and biological differences.

• What evidence might you need to support it? - I may need to research exactly how genders are currently treated unfairly and find statistics and studies to show the negative impact of gender inequality and how our society would be positively benefited if both genders were treated as equals.

• How might you refine your working thesis? How could you make statements more accurate, definitions clearer, or categories more exact? - Maybe I could specify how genders are discriminated against and argue against that particular issue, if there is one. Or I could simply touch on multiple issues surrounding the topic of gender inequality throughout my essay and argue against each of those issues.

• What assumptions are you making? What clarification of or support for these assumptions might your audience need? - I'm assuming that my audience (classmates and professor) might be unaware of how genders are discriminated against. Also, I would like to talk about feminism in relation to this topic and explain the difference between the actual definition of feminism and how people (male and female) have interpreted what feminism is. I assume my audience would need this term to be clarified for them, and possibly other terms and labels people use to identify themselves and how they view gender equality, or lack, thereof.

• How might you qualify your thesis? What exceptions should you note? What other views might you want to recognize? - As a young female, I face certain treatment, assumptions, and judgment from others, mostly from men, based on my gender, at least in part. I have also noticed and observed how both genders are portrayed, stereotyped, and mistreated. I would say these things qualify me to discuss this issue and where I stand. Because men and women are wired and built differently, both genders have their strengths and weaknesses which are highly influenced by their gender and should be taken into consideration, but not used to discriminate. Another exception would be the institution of marriage, in which women must submit to their husbands, but only when it is logical, moral, and legal to do so. In that situation, men and women should work together as a team, but recognize their roles in the relationship and act accordingly. As mentioned in reply to the previous bullet point, I would like to recognize the idea of feminism as well as sexism. I would also like to point out that gender equality would benefit both genders because men are also mistreated and discriminated against, not just women.

Written by Hayley Leach

Chapter 9 Discovery Checklist

1) An issue that currently concerns me is the topic of Co-sleeping with children, and the current debate that engages me is whether or not it's acceptable.

2) The position I'm taking is that Co-sleeping with children is unacceptable and it isn't right. I can state which side of the debate I'm taking by saying something like, "Co-Sleeping with children is intolerable and the risks of it should be emphasized more to parents and parents-to-be." I think the most relevant evidence I'll need to support my stand is the health dangers like suffocation and death. Another point is when children learn to sleep alone, they also learn to self soothe, which in the end makes things easier on both the children and parents. Another valid point is that children need structure and routine, knowing that their parents are readily available when they wake up may cause them to get up more throughout the night. I'll be able to achieve gathering this support through expert testimony, research, and personal experience.

3) "Co-Sleeping with children is intolerable, and the risks of it should be emphasized more to parents and parents to be." I like the first part of my thesis because it's very straight forward and to the point, however I feel like I don't need to include the second part necessarily because I will be touching on that topic through personal experience at some point in the paper. However, if I do decide to keep the second part, I could refine it by saying, " The risks of it should be emphasized more to parents and family members" because parents aren't the only ones who might be involved in co-sleeping, especially if family members are babysitting and such.

4) Through the stand that I'm taking, I'm making the assumption that co-sleeping with children is not only a health risk, but it also impairs the development of self soothing methods, and it's a major road block when it comes to the daily routine that children truly do need, bed time being one of them. It seems that my audience should know why co-sleeping is a health risk, however I need to assume that they don't know much about the controversy I've picked, so they may need clarification of how and why it's dangerous. I definitely think my audience will need clarification of how beneficial self soothing and daily routine among children is, and they'll need clarification of how and why co-sleeping affects those two things.

5) I will qualify my thesis through Expert testimony, personal experience, and research. My major arguments will be the health risks, as well as the effects it has on self soothing AND daily routine that children need. I need to keep in mind that my audience may or may not be able to relate to this topic depending on if they're parents or have children in the family, so I feel I should probably consider that as a viewpoint. Also, I need to take into consideration that some parents find co-sleeping to be much easier because they don't have to get out of bed in the middle of the night, and some might feel that they're bonding with their children by doing this. Also some parents might think that they're alert enough or enough of a light-sleeper to wake up if their child's face is covered with a blanket or accidentally gets rolled on.

-Samantha Gardner, English 122

Chapter 9: Taking a Stand

Personal Reaction: I noticed within this chapter that there are a few new things I learned, for example the meaning of the word Syllogism, which is basically a series of statements that lead to a logical conclusion. Something else new that I learned is the three general types of claims, which are claims of substantiation, claims of evaluation, and claims of policy. Another term I wasn't aware of is the Toulmin reasoning, which is an informal way of arguing that acknowledges the power of assumptions. Overall, nothing about this chapter surprised because I've written numerous argument papers before, and although I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on the guidelines so to speak, there is obviously much more for me to learn. The most difficult part of argument papers for me has always been the three types of appeals which are discussed on page 176, sometimes on my own it's hard to distinguish the difference between the three and exactly how to use them. On page 157 it talks about taking a stand within the multiple roles we play in life such as School, Work, and the Community. I guess I didn't realize how accurate that statement is if you really put some thought into it.

Professional Reaction: I found that there are multiple important points in this chapter, one of which is the three most relevant sources of evidence discussed on page 172, which are Facts, Expert Testimony, and Firsthand Observation. Like I said before the three different types of appeals can be a struggle for me, so I find that topic to be very important as well. As far as argument papers go, this chapter did a great job on covering the steps to an argument paper, which are talked about from pages 165-174, some of the steps are; Find an issue, your question and thesis, and reasoning to refine your position. Personally I've learned in the past that one of the best things you can do when writing an argument paper is taking all the opposing view points into consideration, which I still agree is extremely useful and is discussed on page 174.





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-Samantha Jo Gardner, English 122