Essay Rough Draft Evaluation

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In class, I was assigned to evaluate the rough draft of my essay about gender equality and write about how I could improve my paper.

• Ethos - The classmate who evaluated my paper told me my credibility was good. I think I could use more expert opinions to support my points and make them more credible.
• Pathos - I appeal to emotion in my paper some, but I think I could go into more detail about the emotional effects of gender inequality and how the equal treatment of genders would minimize those negative effects.
• Logos - I tried to appeal to reason, but I think I may need to change my thesis and make sure to properly arrange my points in a more logical way to support said thesis.

• Substantiation - I included some opinions which support my thesis, but need to add in a substantial amount of facts, stats, and other sound evidence to support my claims.
• Evaluation - I tried to evaluate why I hold my position on the topic, but I could definitely include much more detailed evaluation of each point.
• Policy - Because this is such a controversial and complex topic, it was a bit hard to find information and other opinions which are compatible with my policies and beliefs. I will need to do more research to find more sources that support my stance on the subject.

Written by Hayley Leach